Balancing time and energy as a grad student

There is no standard or easy way for balancing time and energy as a grad student, but there are approaches you can take to get through your graduate program while prioritizing yourself and your family.

Be realistic

Be realistic about timing, finances, and your physical and mental health. Give yourself some grace when it comes to work and productivity. Having children is a LOT of work even when you aren’t trying to do research, teach, and write a dissertation on top of it. You will be exhausted and that is okay! If you are feeling overwhelmed or need to talk, please use the available mental health resources:

Talkspace, is an online mental health service, available at no cost to graduate students, their spouses, and dependents 18 years old or over. You may text, video, and/or voice message using Talkspace, as well as schedule live video sessions with a therapist. Talk space is especially convenient for single-hand use, but it can also be used as an additional resource for face-to-face therapy. You may use your phone, tablet, or computer and you can also avoid commuting.
Employee Assistance Program: Available for free to all graduate students and will provide 6 free counseling sessions with a community provider.
Alachua County Crisis Center: 24-hour telephone crisis intervention and counseling service offered by trained volunteers under the supervision of the Crisis Center Staff. Crisis line: 352-264-6789
Other mental health resources, such as in-person sessions, are available in the Counseling and Wellness Center (CWC) and through Tier 1 behavioral health providers.
Resources/contact info for more personal questions regarding coverage of specific conditions and medications can be found here.

Talk to your advisor

Advisors can be a huge source of support or a source of friction and stress. For instance, it’s good to have a conversation with your advisor about your plans to start a family to see where they fall. Some questions to consider when having these conversations:

Will they be able to provide financial support via an RA position if you fall ‘behind schedule’ to graduate?
Will they have grace and adjust their expectations around your productivity?
Does your advisor have children? Sometimes, advisors with kids have a better understanding of the commitments of parenting than those without. They may not fully consider the recovery period for a new mother, for example. Having an honest conversation about this can help them give you what you need.

find community

It can be difficult being a graduate student, and even more while raising children in a university environment where most of your peers do not have kids.

Join student groups. There are several groups for grad students dedicated to forming bonds and sharing resources (i.e., SACNAS, BGSA, WISE).
Spend time outside academia: Reitz Union offers multiple leisure courses in the Arts and Crafts center, where you can make some friends and enjoy some free time. You can also join the UF recreation and fitness center.
Reach out to faculty. If you feel uncomfortable having conversations with your advisor about your needs as a new graduate student or a parent, you may consider reaching out to another faculty member who can advocate for you. Having an empathetic committee member or faculty friend in your corner who your advisor sees as a peer can be useful. Don’t be afraid to strategize if you need to!

(Graduate student Recruitment Resource document, UF Bio Grad Student A4BL 2021 Team)

UF resources to keep your mind entertained!

RecSports: free gym, courts, and fitness activities
UF Center for Outdoor Recreation and Education: gear rental rates, local or out-of-state adventure trips, and workshops (not free)
UF Arts & Crafts Center
Off-campus life

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